Time for a small rant!

So it's almost the end of the year 2009; and to be frank I'm glad it's ending. This year hasn't exactly proven itself to be one of my favourite years to be honest. A lot has happened and I'm hoping that the upcoming year (my twentieth one!) will be at least marginally better.

( SMALL RANT AND PICTURES WHOA. )

/end rant.

So much crap has been going on in my life, and this week things seem to have started to look up in between the bouts of nausea and strange fatigue I've been experiencing ever since I started on anti-depressants last Friday. The side effects haven't been as extreme as I've been reading about online (thank god) but I really feel like the medication is helping me put things into perspective and finally see a little bit of light in my life.

Mom is employed again, which has brought down my stress levels significantly - though she hates her new job since it's so boring. I have strong feelings that things will pick up in this slump that we're both in right now.

I am dealing with school as best as I can.

There is still a long way to go before I get over this depression I've been putting up with for years, but it was only last week when I finally admitted it to my mother that I've realised how much support I have from my family and friends. The meds and the open-ness of the people around me have recently made me feel more inclined to smile; it feels easier to do so.

I am starting to feel like my mask of feigned enthusiasm and hyperactivity isn't entirely necessary anymore, and...I think I'm starting to appreciate this growing feeling of freedom of being myself.


Oh, and mom and I agreed to hunt for a kitten as a new pet. Arthas is and will always be in my heart - but I find that the presence of animals has helped me with my moods and stress levels to great extents in the past. It will be an interesting experience to finally have the pet that I've always wanted.

Airen says:
 Heine is crazy in the new chapter o_o
Cheshsquire says:
 Yeah
Airen says:
 what's wrong with Naoto D:?
Cheshsquire says:
 Hm?
 Her chest hurts.
 Must be scar related.
Airen says:
 >:
 Heine needs to stop trying to rip Giovanni apart and kiss it better...
Cheshsquire says:
 Haha
Airen says:
 >.>...
Cheshsquire says:
 No Eri...
 He'd bite it better.
 Not kiss it.

_____________________________________________________

I died from the imagery. x_x

I hate this year.

I cannot stop playing. O___O

I have officially turned from a geek into a full fledged blood nerd.

Fuck. DB

I am angry and want to punch something. Also been feeling progressively crappier and crappier every morning I get myself out of bed somehow. Life is boring, it's shit and a lot of the time I wonder if it's probably wiser to just jump off a building and let gravity do its thing. A lot of shitty things happen for no reason, and then you die.

My own existence shits me. I'm so tired and lonely that I don't know why I bother anymore.

Oh look! Something to pass the time~...


( Read more... )


Say something to the person who tagged you:
celticoak , you're little snippets of happiness that you've been posting for the past few days have made me smile. :)

And now I tag: cynchick  , mitsukishiroi  , xxxlocknloadxxx  , dimortuisunt , spadoinkel  , goyleistaken  ,

He's dead.

He was supposed to come home today.

This weekend that had just passed has been mental. I've never actually owned a pet properly before and I got the full panic experience on Saturday night when Arthas started showing signs of being very, very sick.

It started when I came home from work on Saturday afternoon, confused as to why Arty didn't seem to be very bouncy or happy to see me. I thought he was just being grouchy and sitting in the corner - he does that sometimes on cloudy days. But what eventually concerned me was when he was sitting in the same corner not moving for hours on end. He hadn't even touched his bowl of food right next to him which I had filled up first thing in the morning on the same day.

Then I put him on my bed, he stretched out and looked tired, lethargic and generally uninterested when I waved around pieces of carrot and lettuce in front of him to tempt him with food. I leave him alone for another hour on the mattress.

I turn back around from the computer and find my sheets soaked in yellowish fluid and runny, mushy green poop and a very tired looking grey bunny in the corner. Cleaning the sheets in the wash, he makes the same mess twice up until 11pm until I decide it was time to call the vet.

Two hours later, he's still not eating. That meant the normally pig-like eating machine hadn't eaten a thing for over twelve hours.

By 4am, I'm tired, worried and freak out over the phone for the third time when Arthas' diarrhea turns from runny to being pure liquid. He doesn't react when I roll him over. So I bundle him up, put him in a big bag and make my way out into the winter night so I can run to the emergency clinic 20 minutes away by foot.

He's still there, and still isn't eating right. The vets have needed to force feed him and put him on medication every few hours or so.

I want my bunny to get better soon. Do all pet owners get white hairs from stress and worry about these situations?

=\